1
00:00:01,610 --> 00:00:03,290
Okay, I'm ready. What time is the movie?

2
00:00:03,610 --> 00:00:04,609
7 .30.

3
00:00:04,750 --> 00:00:07,690
What are you doing with all those coats?
Oh, I put them on the seat in front of

4
00:00:07,690 --> 00:00:08,810
me so nobody blocks the screen.

5
00:00:09,130 --> 00:00:11,810
Let me just put in the code.

6
00:00:15,530 --> 00:00:16,530
What's the new code?

7
00:00:16,750 --> 00:00:17,790
The year you were born.

8
00:00:18,630 --> 00:00:19,630
Oh, right.

9
00:00:20,250 --> 00:00:21,250
What year was I born?

10
00:00:22,950 --> 00:00:24,090
The one in your bio.

11
00:00:24,330 --> 00:00:25,330
Oh, okay, okay.

12
00:00:28,210 --> 00:00:29,670
Try the one you told Roy.

13
00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:32,980
Which one? I told him so many.

14
00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:39,140
Why don't you, uh... Why don't you try
your real one?

15
00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:40,400
You think?

16
00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:41,840
Okay.

17
00:00:44,640 --> 00:00:51,060
I don't want to see the movie that bad.

18
00:01:06,510 --> 00:01:11,070
But nobody else but, nobody else but
you.

19
00:01:12,210 --> 00:01:15,870
La, la, la, la, you, yeah.

20
00:01:16,570 --> 00:01:18,630
Nobody else but you.

21
00:01:23,470 --> 00:01:25,830
How is Aunt Prudent, then?

22
00:01:26,990 --> 00:01:29,630
What, do you mean the doctors had to
shave her entire body?

23
00:01:31,110 --> 00:01:32,750
Oh, that's a pity.

24
00:01:33,070 --> 00:01:34,490
All that lovely red hair.

25
00:01:38,380 --> 00:01:40,420
Don't be silly. It's not too expensive.
I'm at her house.

26
00:01:40,680 --> 00:01:41,940
She's got no idea.

27
00:01:42,740 --> 00:01:43,740
I can't talk.

28
00:01:44,500 --> 00:01:47,400
Calling England again.

29
00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:48,680
Oh, God.

30
00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:50,480
I thought you were her.

31
00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:55,240
Oh, remind me later. I'll give you her
calling card number. Then you can phone

32
00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:56,240
from home.

33
00:01:57,180 --> 00:01:58,980
You're having sex again next door.

34
00:02:00,340 --> 00:02:01,039
That's lovely.

35
00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:03,340
Anyway, I'm glad I caught you before you
left for the set. Why?

36
00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:04,640
Bad news.

37
00:02:04,730 --> 00:02:08,050
Mel Gibson has broken his leg. They're
putting the picture on hold.

38
00:02:08,270 --> 00:02:09,669
Oh, but that's not fair.

39
00:02:09,889 --> 00:02:12,270
I was supposed to slap Danny Glover with
a fish today.

40
00:02:13,130 --> 00:02:16,730
Well, sweetie, think how the poor fish
feels. His parents were visiting the

41
00:02:17,370 --> 00:02:20,690
How'd he break his leg? He was having a
pedicure and the chair broke.

42
00:02:21,010 --> 00:02:22,490
You know, that's how Gielgud died.

43
00:02:23,090 --> 00:02:25,570
And a little Korean boy was working on
him at the time.

44
00:02:27,390 --> 00:02:32,570
Well, now what? I cleared my whole
schedule for two months just to do this

45
00:02:32,730 --> 00:02:34,050
Isn't there anything else to do?

46
00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:36,220
I don't think so, sweetie. It's awfully
late notice.

47
00:02:36,460 --> 00:02:38,320
Well, what about that British costume
drama?

48
00:02:38,580 --> 00:02:42,840
What British costume drama? Well,
there's been some interest from Merchant

49
00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:44,340
for me to play Elizabeth I.

50
00:02:44,780 --> 00:02:46,540
Oh, honey, I made that up.

51
00:02:48,020 --> 00:02:49,020
Hey.

52
00:02:49,380 --> 00:02:52,740
Hey, but you know something? This is
actually a great opportunity. You wanted

53
00:02:52,740 --> 00:02:53,920
start your autobiography.

54
00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:57,400
Well, now you've got the time. Why don't
you just jot down some stories?

55
00:02:57,760 --> 00:02:59,020
That's a fabulous idea.

56
00:02:59,360 --> 00:03:01,860
I've had that first line in my mind for
forever.

57
00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:05,940
It was 1974, the era of sex, drugs, and
rock and roll.

58
00:03:06,460 --> 00:03:10,320
But I didn't go in for that sort of
thing. I needed my best girlfriend,

59
00:03:12,220 --> 00:03:13,800
Hi, Mommy. Oh, Angel.

60
00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:17,080
Do you have Oprah's home phone number?
Oh, she stopped speaking to me since I

61
00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:18,080
didn't return her Tupperware.

62
00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:21,660
Because I wanted to interview her for a
women in business report.

63
00:03:22,140 --> 00:03:24,980
Really? Women in business? Well, you
should interview me.

64
00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:28,940
I'm a veritable conglomerate. How is
singing and dancing a business?

65
00:03:29,340 --> 00:03:31,960
I'm not so sure, but it took us skiing
in Switzerland last year.

66
00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:36,540
But see, I have to write a paper on how
a woman starts a business. That's great.

67
00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:39,920
I have two months off. We'll start a
business, and you can write about it.

68
00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:41,920
you can't just start a business. Sure
you can.

69
00:03:42,180 --> 00:03:45,720
Never say never. Hey, they said I'd
never win a Pulitzer Prize, and what is

70
00:03:45,720 --> 00:03:46,900
over there on the mantelpiece?

71
00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:48,500
That's the People's Choice Award.

72
00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:52,420
Well, they said I couldn't win one of
them either.

73
00:03:56,140 --> 00:03:57,860
All right, darling, listen up.

74
00:03:58,170 --> 00:04:02,210
Lesson number one. The most important
thing you need when you start a business

75
00:04:02,210 --> 00:04:03,210
is passion.

76
00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:05,390
So, what's my passion?

77
00:04:05,850 --> 00:04:07,890
Well, you're very passionate about
recycling.

78
00:04:08,210 --> 00:04:11,910
That's right. I am. So here's what we're
going to do. We're going to find

79
00:04:11,910 --> 00:04:16,430
something that everyone throws away and
figure out how to turn it into something

80
00:04:16,430 --> 00:04:18,709
that everybody wants but nobody has.

81
00:04:19,089 --> 00:04:20,630
Right. So what's our product?

82
00:04:21,490 --> 00:04:23,390
Well, I don't know. I can't think of
everything.

83
00:04:25,710 --> 00:04:26,710
Lesson number two.

84
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:30,820
When you hit a snag, always listen to
your instincts.

85
00:04:31,260 --> 00:04:36,600
And what's your instinct telling you? My
instincts are telling me we should open

86
00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:37,600
up a restaurant.

87
00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:41,600
That's a great idea. Isn't it? And then
we could call it the Divine Diner. I

88
00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:45,200
love it. And we could serve food like,
uh, uh, uh, uh, wind beneath my hot

89
00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:46,340
wings. Oh, that's good.

90
00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:49,000
Boogie, boogie, bugle, poi.

91
00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:52,060
First wife's club sandwich.

92
00:04:57,480 --> 00:05:00,500
The only other thing that we might try
is fashion.

93
00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:04,680
Oh, yeah. You love clothes. I love them,
and I have style coming out the wazoo.

94
00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:07,840
Definitely. And then instead of
bothering with the little stories, you

95
00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:10,820
tell them on Club Shopping Network like
all the other celebrities. That's

96
00:05:10,820 --> 00:05:11,719
brilliant. Brilliant.

97
00:05:11,720 --> 00:05:13,640
But, Mom, what do you really know about
designing clothes?

98
00:05:13,860 --> 00:05:14,639
What to know?

99
00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:18,240
I'm going to find an up -and -coming
designer who needs a break, slap my name

100
00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:20,600
a label, and, baby, we're in business.

101
00:05:21,100 --> 00:05:23,960
Oh, this is going to be so cool. You'll
be exactly like Joan Rivers.

102
00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:25,780
Go to your room for a year.

103
00:05:31,820 --> 00:05:33,600
Do you have to wear those?

104
00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:38,120
What? I just had my eyes dilated. I
know, but this guy is designing a new

105
00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:42,240
of clothing for me. I'd like to look a
little cool. Oh, please. You wear

106
00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:43,680
sunglasses in the house all the time.

107
00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:47,240
Yeah, but I'm famous. You look like a
welder.

108
00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:50,440
Oh, my God.

109
00:05:50,780 --> 00:05:56,160
Divine Miss M in my studio pinched me.
And look, it's her sidekick, the fly.

110
00:05:58,220 --> 00:06:01,560
Those glasses, they're hot. Horrible.
Where did you get them? I have to have a

111
00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:02,560
pair.

112
00:06:02,620 --> 00:06:07,820
Dr. Harold Phelps. Dr. Genius, but not
as much of a genius as you are for

113
00:06:07,820 --> 00:06:11,940
choosing me, Alex Berenger, to design
your new line of clothing with such an

114
00:06:11,940 --> 00:06:14,320
incredible opportunity. Thank you so
much.

115
00:06:14,740 --> 00:06:18,840
You're so welcome. I am so dizzy. I'm
just going to go sit down in the lobby.

116
00:06:19,140 --> 00:06:20,260
Connie. Connie.

117
00:06:20,640 --> 00:06:21,800
Connie. Here, honey.

118
00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:23,080
Oh.

119
00:06:23,240 --> 00:06:25,260
Does it always have to be about you?

120
00:06:27,060 --> 00:06:31,200
Now, Alex, the reason... i chose you was
because i saw that fabulous dress you

121
00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:34,940
made for katie holmes oh my god do you
love it do you know i literally had to

122
00:06:34,940 --> 00:06:39,520
spray her with pam to get her into that
thing luckily i always have an extra can

123
00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:44,440
in my glove compartment well that's more
than i need to know anyway

124
00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:49,960
and I know you have a million ideas, so
just fire away.

125
00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:55,200
Okay, I was thinking the look should be
very today, but just a tad retro, and I

126
00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:57,940
see it as being very nice, but a little
naughty, you bad girl.

127
00:06:58,160 --> 00:07:02,560
And above all, I think it should just be
elegant with just a whisper of

128
00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:05,340
tackiness. In other words, exactly like
me.

129
00:07:05,580 --> 00:07:06,580
Oh, my God.

130
00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:09,300
Dear Mom, um, and she's smart, too.

131
00:07:10,900 --> 00:07:12,700
Okay, let's take a look at you. Okay.

132
00:07:13,020 --> 00:07:14,560
Oh, oh, that.

133
00:07:15,090 --> 00:07:19,650
Your figure is just intoxicating. I
mean, if you would just take those

134
00:07:19,650 --> 00:07:20,650
out of your pocket.

135
00:07:23,230 --> 00:07:24,710
I don't have any pocket.

136
00:07:27,130 --> 00:07:30,510
And I don't have enough stories in the
world to make up for what I just said.

137
00:07:30,770 --> 00:07:32,690
Oh, there's one. I lied. Sorry.

138
00:07:34,350 --> 00:07:35,450
Don't give it a second thought.

139
00:07:35,910 --> 00:07:39,470
Oh, P .S. Mom, um, she's really
forgiving, too.

140
00:07:40,190 --> 00:07:41,870
Okay, let's look at some fabric.

141
00:07:42,540 --> 00:07:44,360
Okay, this is definitely going to
happen.

142
00:07:45,020 --> 00:07:47,220
Right there, like, getting that knife.

143
00:07:47,460 --> 00:07:48,460
And her sister.

144
00:07:48,540 --> 00:07:49,419
That's good.

145
00:07:49,420 --> 00:07:52,840
And her mean brother. She has to go on,
too.

146
00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:54,200
Okay, thoughts?

147
00:07:54,780 --> 00:07:57,440
I look like the guy that sleeps on my
star on Hollywood Boulevard.

148
00:08:00,580 --> 00:08:01,580
Uh -oh.

149
00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:02,720
What is it? Uh -oh.

150
00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:04,240
What's happening?

151
00:08:04,940 --> 00:08:05,940
What's going on?

152
00:08:06,740 --> 00:08:08,980
The pencil! It's moving all by itself!

153
00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:11,100
It's trying to tell us something.

154
00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:15,200
It is? What's it trying to say? I don't
know. Let's find out. It's trying to

155
00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:19,360
tell us that our first offering wants to
be fun.

156
00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:21,259
It does?

157
00:08:21,260 --> 00:08:24,720
Yes. What else does it want? It wants to
be a little cosmopolitan. Yeah? And

158
00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:26,240
just a little down home. Yeah.

159
00:08:26,660 --> 00:08:29,140
And it's insisting on being pedal pusher
length.

160
00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:31,800
Huh. Boy, that's one needy little
garment.

161
00:08:33,559 --> 00:08:34,780
Quick, what are your favorite colors?

162
00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:37,220
Well, well, I've always... I've been mad
about orange.

163
00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:38,299
Me too.

164
00:08:38,299 --> 00:08:41,039
Really? You're not just saying that
because you want to kiss my butt? Oh, I

165
00:08:41,039 --> 00:08:42,500
to kiss your butt, but I'm mad about
orange.

166
00:08:43,539 --> 00:08:44,379
What else?

167
00:08:44,380 --> 00:08:46,680
Well, I always thought chartreuse was to
die for.

168
00:08:47,300 --> 00:08:49,440
You know what my nickname in grade
school was? What?

169
00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:51,560
Chartreuse. Oh, my God.

170
00:08:51,760 --> 00:08:52,920
Can you believe how scary?

171
00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:54,960
We were so, like, you know, in sync.

172
00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:58,160
Oh, my God, in sync. Can we talk about
them for, like, an hour?

173
00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:01,800
That's it.

174
00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:05,540
Wow. Say, can I borrow that magic pencil
for a second?

175
00:09:05,780 --> 00:09:07,450
Oh. Well, it only talked to me.

176
00:09:07,770 --> 00:09:09,050
I don't want it to talk.

177
00:09:09,870 --> 00:09:11,110
I want it to listen.

178
00:09:15,470 --> 00:09:17,070
Okay, Rose, be sure to get this down.

179
00:09:17,790 --> 00:09:22,050
Not only did my mother start her
business from scratch, but she soon

180
00:09:22,050 --> 00:09:25,890
she knew more about fashion design than
a professional designer.

181
00:09:28,770 --> 00:09:31,130
Mom, didn't Alex call you a colorblind
harpy?

182
00:09:34,290 --> 00:09:35,290
Lesson number three.

183
00:09:35,819 --> 00:09:39,340
Never collaborate with anyone who looks
better in capri pants than you do.

184
00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:43,880
Ta -da!

185
00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:45,440
Is it done?

186
00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:48,960
The truck is on its way to the club
shopping studio, but I just had to steal

187
00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:49,839
a peek.

188
00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:54,020
Now stop torturing me. Put it on so I
can gaze upon you. Okay, okay.

189
00:09:55,020 --> 00:09:56,160
So you're not mad, huh?

190
00:09:56,380 --> 00:09:59,540
Mad? Honey, I wish there were two of you
so I could love you more.

191
00:10:00,660 --> 00:10:02,920
I knew tough love was the way to go with
you.

192
00:10:03,260 --> 00:10:05,110
Um... I'm really not into that anymore.

193
00:10:10,510 --> 00:10:14,590
Oh, my God!

194
00:10:15,130 --> 00:10:17,370
I know. Thank you. Thank you.

195
00:10:18,190 --> 00:10:19,210
This is horrible.

196
00:10:19,850 --> 00:10:23,010
Horrible? I hope that means fantastic in
the land of divine.

197
00:10:24,210 --> 00:10:26,610
No, it means it's repulsive.

198
00:10:27,690 --> 00:10:30,490
Well, Ben, you know, we've been working
on it for weeks. Maybe you're just too

199
00:10:30,490 --> 00:10:32,450
close to it. Close to it? I'm...

200
00:10:36,810 --> 00:10:37,810
Everything you wanted.

201
00:10:37,870 --> 00:10:39,270
But why didn't you stop me?

202
00:10:40,690 --> 00:10:44,330
Dad, I hate myself. I hate myself and
everything. I stand for it. I let you

203
00:10:44,330 --> 00:10:48,070
down. I want to just go crawl into a
gopher hole, eat some nuts, and die.

204
00:10:48,930 --> 00:10:52,170
Oh, honey, calm down, calm down. It's
not as bad as all that.

205
00:10:52,610 --> 00:10:56,310
Maybe I'm just overreacting to the color
and the bell bottoms and the zippers on

206
00:10:56,310 --> 00:10:57,310
the inside.

207
00:11:01,950 --> 00:11:05,490
So you love it, and you're going to sell
it on TV and make me a household name?

208
00:11:06,110 --> 00:11:07,570
Can't I just give you a Valium instead?

209
00:11:08,730 --> 00:11:11,450
Come on, you're kidding, right? I need
you to be kidding.

210
00:11:12,170 --> 00:11:13,250
Okay, I'm kidding.

211
00:11:13,910 --> 00:11:15,670
Thank you. I'll see you at the studio.

212
00:11:20,430 --> 00:11:21,470
Oh, my God.

213
00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:36,420
Really sell that on the club's shopping
network?

214
00:11:36,940 --> 00:11:40,620
Well, the American public was dumb
enough to buy the clapper.

215
00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:43,060
Maybe they'll be dumb enough to buy
this, too.

216
00:11:45,420 --> 00:11:46,760
Come on, let's go get ready.

217
00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:52,120
Yes,

218
00:11:55,900 --> 00:11:58,980
yes, here it is. She wouldn't let me see
it. Well, I'm not waiting for her.

219
00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:00,040
Let's look. All right.

220
00:12:04,680 --> 00:12:05,680
Oh, my God.

221
00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:08,240
Bob Mackie could crap a better outfit.

222
00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:12,240
Bob Mackie would crap if he saw this
outfit.

223
00:12:13,580 --> 00:12:15,840
She's going to be here any second. What
are we going to say to her?

224
00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:17,500
Well, I think we should just be honest.

225
00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:22,320
I'm just kidding.

226
00:12:23,680 --> 00:12:25,300
What do you think?

227
00:12:29,900 --> 00:12:33,780
I think it's fabulous, and I think
you're a bloody genius. Honestly, is

228
00:12:33,780 --> 00:12:34,780
nothing you can't do?

229
00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:38,040
Connie? Oh, oh, it's almost too pretty.

230
00:12:39,180 --> 00:12:40,560
I'm knocking off you, too.

231
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,380
I know it stinks. Oh, thank God.

232
00:12:42,700 --> 00:12:46,580
When I make a mistake, I need you to be
honest with me. Don't just yes me to

233
00:12:46,580 --> 00:12:47,580
death. Okay.

234
00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:49,040
I'm serious.

235
00:12:49,340 --> 00:12:50,099
Yes, yes.

236
00:12:50,100 --> 00:12:51,820
Okay. I like it.

237
00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:55,640
It's like looking into an eclipse.

238
00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:05,620
Yeah, you bet. Glad to have you on
board. Great outfits.

239
00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:06,960
They're going to sell like hotcakes.

240
00:13:07,260 --> 00:13:09,120
You haven't seen them yet, have you? No.

241
00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:11,160
So how are you?

242
00:13:11,260 --> 00:13:14,620
Do you know my daughter weighs 340
pounds?

243
00:13:15,820 --> 00:13:20,640
Huh. She has such a pretty face. I mean,
she loses two 300 pounds she could

244
00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:21,640
model.

245
00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:23,920
You want to get started?

246
00:13:24,140 --> 00:13:26,280
Oh, of course. Let me escort you onto
the set.

247
00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:28,140
You got any weed?

248
00:13:32,110 --> 00:13:33,410
And it is go time.

249
00:13:33,890 --> 00:13:38,190
Welcome to the Club Shopping Network
Celebrity Fashion Corner.

250
00:13:38,550 --> 00:13:42,070
I'm your host, Jasper. This is my real
hair, Perkins.

251
00:13:42,670 --> 00:13:44,670
Now, you all know my next guest.

252
00:13:44,930 --> 00:13:47,530
We've enjoyed her records for years.

253
00:13:47,870 --> 00:13:50,270
Our wives have made us see all her
movies.

254
00:13:51,150 --> 00:13:56,750
And now here she is in the flesh. And
may I say, even up close, it is tight as

255
00:13:56,750 --> 00:13:57,750
tambourine.

256
00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:00,120
Thank you, Jasper.

257
00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:02,120
And hi, America. Hi, Canada.

258
00:14:02,320 --> 00:14:03,079
Puerto Rico.

259
00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:04,080
Hola.

260
00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:09,580
So bad I understand you have designed a
jumpsuit. Yes, I have, Jasper, and I'm

261
00:14:09,580 --> 00:14:13,700
very proud of it. It's reasonably
priced, perfect for a man or woman, and

262
00:14:13,700 --> 00:14:16,220
extremely flattering to any shape or
size.

263
00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:18,660
And here comes a pretty girl right now.

264
00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:24,760
Well, that's our very own Mindy. Doesn't
she look delicious?

265
00:14:26,350 --> 00:14:27,530
Absolutely delicious.

266
00:14:29,650 --> 00:14:35,850
But she's just a tease. So why don't we
open up the phone lines right now? The

267
00:14:35,850 --> 00:14:41,850
item number is 8690, and there are only
4 ,000 jumpsuits, so call in quick.

268
00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:44,250
Ah.

269
00:14:45,230 --> 00:14:49,150
They are probably dialing in right now.

270
00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:58,460
You know something, Bette, contrary to
popular belief, most of our viewing

271
00:14:58,460 --> 00:15:03,320
audience actually prefer the old
-fashioned rotary phones. They're a lot

272
00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:04,680
but they sure are reliable.

273
00:15:07,940 --> 00:15:09,800
Oh, was that a ring I just heard?

274
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:11,360
No, I just dropped a spoon. Sorry.

275
00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:20,520
People are probably waiting for us to
tell them what these things cost. So,

276
00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:21,680
what is the damage?

277
00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:22,800
$59 .95.

278
00:15:23,140 --> 00:15:24,740
Yikes! What is that, the address?

279
00:15:27,340 --> 00:15:31,020
Would someone just call us to see if
they're working? No obligation to buy.

280
00:15:32,080 --> 00:15:36,840
Ah, there's our first caller. Hello, and
welcome to the Celebrity Fashion

281
00:15:36,840 --> 00:15:37,940
Corner. Your name?

282
00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:40,000
Pete. Hi. Hi, Pete.

283
00:15:40,220 --> 00:15:43,640
You sound like a guy who wants to be
fashionable, and what could be more in

284
00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:45,240
fashion than... Your phones are working.

285
00:15:48,740 --> 00:15:50,640
Okay, well, that is certainly a relief.

286
00:15:52,060 --> 00:15:53,200
Can I go now?

287
00:15:54,160 --> 00:15:57,900
And that is the kind of humor that's
going to make these next six hours just

288
00:15:57,900 --> 00:15:58,900
blow by.

289
00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:05,620
Well, I have new respect for the
American consumer.

290
00:16:08,490 --> 00:16:12,270
Mom, you don't have to keep doing this.
Honey, that attitude has no place in our

291
00:16:12,270 --> 00:16:13,269
mother -daughter business.

292
00:16:13,270 --> 00:16:16,430
Besides, I do have to keep doing it. I
want my girl to be proud of me.

293
00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:19,310
You think a boatload of cash into this,
didn't you?

294
00:16:19,530 --> 00:16:23,430
Well, let's just say Switzerland is not
in the cards this year.

295
00:16:24,570 --> 00:16:28,630
What I'm saying is I know people at the
Weather Channel. I could make some phone

296
00:16:28,630 --> 00:16:29,630
calls.

297
00:16:30,110 --> 00:16:33,110
Why don't we talk about it later at the
Olive Garden?

298
00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:39,260
Let's go. We have merchandise to move.
Right -o. Crack that whip.

299
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:43,440
And we are back on.

300
00:16:44,620 --> 00:16:49,660
You know, people, I love these
jumpsuits. I believe in these jumpsuits,

301
00:16:49,660 --> 00:16:53,900
will do anything it takes to sell you a
jumpsuit. I'll sing any song. I'll tell

302
00:16:53,900 --> 00:16:55,620
any joke. I'll do any dance.

303
00:16:55,820 --> 00:16:57,280
How about lowering the price?

304
00:16:58,300 --> 00:16:59,300
Okay.

305
00:16:59,580 --> 00:17:01,700
Who's a fan of up -close magic?

306
00:17:08,600 --> 00:17:09,479
Yes, I know.

307
00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:10,740
How could you ever let this happen?

308
00:17:11,220 --> 00:17:14,240
Me? She saw that picture of Katie Holmes
in your teen people.

309
00:17:17,079 --> 00:17:18,079
Yes, well, anyway, anyway.

310
00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:22,420
The next time she comes up to us with
some crazy scheme, we should just stand

311
00:17:22,420 --> 00:17:23,039
for ourselves.

312
00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:25,920
Absolutely. And if we think it's a bad
idea, she has to listen to us. Of course

313
00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:28,140
she should. But we're in this together,
right? I mean, I need to know. You've

314
00:17:28,140 --> 00:17:29,360
got my back. Oh, I've got it.

315
00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:31,539
All right.

316
00:17:31,540 --> 00:17:34,420
Which one of you is getting out on that
stage and modeling this for me? Oscar

317
00:17:34,420 --> 00:17:35,420
will do it.

318
00:17:52,590 --> 00:17:53,590
the hell are you?

319
00:17:59,210 --> 00:18:00,210
I'm Oscar.

320
00:18:00,230 --> 00:18:01,230
Oh,

321
00:18:01,390 --> 00:18:02,930
well, fantastic.

322
00:18:03,690 --> 00:18:08,170
You know what, Oscar? Our audience is
always curious how to clean their

323
00:18:08,270 --> 00:18:09,970
What would you suggest on this?

324
00:18:11,530 --> 00:18:12,530
Kerosene and a match.

325
00:18:16,670 --> 00:18:19,870
I gotta tell you, Bette, you sold more
of these things than I ever thought you

326
00:18:19,870 --> 00:18:21,730
would. I only sold one.

327
00:18:23,370 --> 00:18:24,810
That's what I'm talking about, baby.

328
00:18:26,850 --> 00:18:29,530
Has anyone ever told you you're kind of
a jackass?

329
00:18:31,450 --> 00:18:35,570
Oh, look, here comes our Mindy again
with that foreign guy and a child.

330
00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:44,110
I just want to show how versatile these
jumpsuits are.

331
00:18:44,350 --> 00:18:46,830
They're perfect for knocking around the
yard with your family.

332
00:18:52,170 --> 00:18:53,170
Going to a disco?

333
00:18:55,510 --> 00:18:56,510
Cleaning the house?

334
00:18:57,810 --> 00:19:01,150
And just get a load of this fantastic
hand stitching.

335
00:19:01,370 --> 00:19:03,990
This is real Guatemalan craftsmanship.

336
00:19:07,430 --> 00:19:09,030
Oh, man, that can't be good.

337
00:19:10,050 --> 00:19:11,050
Are you kidding?

338
00:19:11,190 --> 00:19:14,830
This just goes to show how... how
adaptable this baby is.

339
00:19:17,250 --> 00:19:18,590
Uh, hello, you're on the air.

340
00:19:18,970 --> 00:19:23,670
Hi, I work in a deli, and that would
be... Very handy to pack a salami to go.

341
00:19:24,650 --> 00:19:28,590
You're right. And not just salami. Who
else has some meat they want to put in

342
00:19:28,590 --> 00:19:29,590
jumpsuit?

343
00:19:33,850 --> 00:19:37,630
Take it from the Queen of Hollywood,
you're only as well -dressed as your

344
00:19:37,630 --> 00:19:38,630
favorite pooch.

345
00:19:42,490 --> 00:19:48,070
And this dapper gent in the ascot is my
musical director, who hails from

346
00:19:48,070 --> 00:19:49,070
England. Really?

347
00:19:49,410 --> 00:19:51,320
Yeah. Say something British.

348
00:19:51,900 --> 00:19:52,900
Sort of.

349
00:19:56,340 --> 00:19:59,880
Is there anything sweeter than mother
-daughter kerchiefs?

350
00:20:05,060 --> 00:20:06,960
Excuse me, can you tell me where the
ladies' room is?

351
00:20:13,460 --> 00:20:16,680
Well, Bette, I can't wait to see what
the hell you're going to do with that.

352
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:21,660
Well, for you Muslim women, it makes a
great way to observe your religious

353
00:20:21,660 --> 00:20:24,860
belief without giving up your right to
fashion.

354
00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:29,700
Well, it looks like all we're left with
is this natty little vest.

355
00:20:31,820 --> 00:20:33,180
Oh, my word.

356
00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:38,240
Emerita, I want to apologize to you. I
shouldn't be out here selling this when

357
00:20:38,240 --> 00:20:41,680
the genius behind this delight is right
over there, Mr.

358
00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:45,520
Alex Berenger. Oh, no, Beth, please. I
couldn't possibly be on national

359
00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:46,940
television. Hi, everybody.

360
00:20:49,100 --> 00:20:55,060
Don't you think this jumpsuit is unbe...
Beth, what happened to my jump...

361
00:20:55,060 --> 00:20:57,940
I love it!

362
00:20:58,140 --> 00:20:59,280
Oh, my God!

363
00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:02,240
I want to have a tawdry affair with it
and never call it again.

364
00:21:04,180 --> 00:21:07,700
Mom, I don't get it. Neither do I, but
Switzerland, here we come.

365
00:21:13,060 --> 00:21:13,919
Hey, Mom.

366
00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:14,859
Guess what?

367
00:21:14,860 --> 00:21:15,940
I got your report back.

368
00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:17,680
Yep. What'd you get? An...

369
00:21:19,060 --> 00:21:22,620
Wow. See, that just goes to show I
really know what I'm talking about when

370
00:21:22,620 --> 00:21:23,539
comes to business.

371
00:21:23,540 --> 00:21:24,540
Yeah.

372
00:21:27,340 --> 00:21:28,340
Riches to rags.

373
00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:30,360
The anatomy of a failure.

374
00:21:36,260 --> 00:21:37,780
Oh, well, an A's an A.

375
00:21:39,120 --> 00:21:40,120
Oh, great.

376
00:21:40,220 --> 00:21:41,220
Uh -huh. Right.

377
00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:42,640
Yeah.

378
00:21:43,380 --> 00:21:44,380
I know.

379
00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:48,140
Oh, I shouldn't eat this. I'm eating
Jasper at the Olive Garden.

380
00:22:17,900 --> 00:22:18,900
Bye.